Spin Doctors - Series Four, Final Episode

You have a race problem, you solve it. You're the token Māori now.

– Hineroa (Kayte Ferguson) lays down the law to the newly awakened Ron (Patrick Wilson)

Tane — having paid a thousand bucks per head for this immersion course, the kai better be better than last night's fish and chips.

– Giles (John Sumner) wakes up cranky on day two of the cultural immersion course

There's no women and children first around here, lady.

– Andrew (Mark Ferguson) tells Dawn (Ling-Hsueh Tang) she's on her own

Is this the fat, pompous boss or the randy Aussie boss who tries it on?

– Aunty Queenie (Mabel Wharekawa-Burt) immediately shows she's a straight talker

Are you related to Ron Bayliss, the worst ever All Black?

– Another zinger from Aunty Queenie (Mabel Wharekawa-Burt)

Oh we ski at Turoa...

– Sebastien (Ian Harcourt) answers Ron's question about his whakapapa

Heavens, I got a pony for every birthday till I was 32.

– Sebastien (Ian Harcourt) on his Hawkes Bay upbringing

The objective is topical satire. It's not really a sitcom because it doesn't have a laugh track or anything. The desire was to try to make these people real but by the same token have them saying things that are funny. It's internal laughter, it's not great haw-haw-ha-ha American sitcom. I hope people will just have a bit of a giggle.

– Director/producer Tony Holden on Spin Doctors, The NZ Herald, 9 November 2001

After breakfast we'll find ways to throw off the sexist and racist attitudes imposed upon us by the British Empire. In the meantime, you ladies make the cup of tea, and the men help me put away the mattresses.

– Tane/Bevin (Antonio Te Maioha) has plans for day three of his cultural immersion course