The Wonderful World of...

...sit down, I'll make you a cup of beer at half-time.

– Fred Dagg (John Clarke) invites the audience in to watch the show

...if me and my wife weren't in our present residence, we'd be in here like a shot.

– A real estate agent (John Clarke) looks to close a sale at Parliament

And that charity luncheon for impotent truck drivers was a flop...

– Busy socialite Chichi Fawkner (Judith Fyfe) describes her busy day

..and there goes Insurance Pride in all sorts of trouble at the barrier — storming out the back, Treasury Boy and Secretary Blue...

– The 1975 All-Comers Office Workers race goes down to the wire in the final leg

Even when you are being told by the television people in 1975 that you can't do what you want to do, you are not funny and you should go away, it doesn't hurt your feelings that much if you know a whole lot of people are going, 'yeah, I quite like that.' They don't go out and scream. They just say, 'aw, he's not bad... that'll do me.'

– John Clarke in an interview about his career, The NZ Herald, 30 June 2000

Yeah I'd have to say Kel, I'm feeling pretty good, quietly confident, a lot of the things I was worried about last year are coming right: the inability to leap in and capitalise on the loose rhyme and fire it away for a winner...I'd have to say, feeling pretty good Kel, yes.

– New Zealand's fastest poet David Sorenson (John Clarke) analyses his current form, ahead of the world championships

He does have a tendency to use a lot of Man Alone imagery and he relies on the manuka rather too much, but I think that once we've chopped that out of him, he'll be in there with a chance.

– David Sorenson's poetry trainer Dennis Racket (Clarke) on Sorenson's form

...sharp pencil, sharp mind. Keep your head down and get your Wordsworth.

– Poet athlete David Sorenson (John Clarke) offers some advice to younger poet athletes

Making the pilot was an unpleasant experience and it was misunderstood by TV executives, with the exception of Alan Morris who saw it all happening and whose advice kept me sane. There was no point in continuing.

– John Clarke, quoted in Matt Elliott's 1997 book Kiwi Jokers - The Rise and Rise of New Zealand Comedy